An Essay of Feeling

Scanning my puppy’s old pictures really make me feel blue and sad. I just missed the moments we shared at each other. I missed those moments she will try to bite me, those moments I will run after her because she got loose, those moments I am calling loudly for her to come back home, the moments I am taking pictures of her, feeding her. Everything. I missed everything about her. She might not be the prettiest or the cutest puppy now because she got sick but I don’t care because the love and affection I’ve extended to her is something priceless.

They say, if you don’t want to get hurt or lonely, don’t give love. I guess, I really love my puppy because I am so much lonely while writing this. She’s all running into my head. Now playing is One Direction’s ‘One Way of Another’. I wish that one way or another she will come back to our front door looking so happy. But I guess, it will no longer happen.

Late afternoon, after washing the dishes, I feel very nostalgic because her sibling is here at our place together with their mother. I suddenly remember Pretzel. If she is still here, most probably, she will play along with the two. Or maybe, she will be under my chair, fast asleep. But the poor thing is she’s not. So for me to conquer the blue, I went outside together with Chara and Tae-yang (Pretzel’s sibling) and get some fresh air. I really love the cool blowing of the wind (it’s a windy afternoon) while running along with our Japanese Spitz. I just wished that Pretzel is also with us so she can feel the same way.

So I really hope that she is in good hands. Just the thought of her being in somebody’s cruel hands make me feel very worried. Tss. I think, she is also feeling very lonely and guilty right now because if she did not go outside the door, she will still be here. Tss. But I think, it’s another que sera sera thing. It already happened and I can’t change it.